So, it’s obvious from my last post, I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately. In that vein of thought I have begun to think about relationships in general. Now with the number of little crumb snatchers running around and the over saturation of sex in our society (we have entire clubs, websites, and groups devoted to the spectrum), it’s apparent that we have no problem hooking up but we dont seem to be getting and staying together and when we do we aren’t faithful. So, are relationships just too hard? Or have we become a society of sluts?

Most people can recall a time when they have been cheated on and many (even if they don’t admit it) can recall a time when they have cheated. Cheating is not just a possibility anymore; it’s a reality.

41% of one or both spouses in a marriage have admitted to being unfaithful- sheesh, that’s almost half of all of them. 57% of men and 54% of women have admitted to being unfaithful in any relationship they were in- apparently cheating isn’t gender specific. Now get this, 74% of men and 68% of women admitted they WOULD cheat if they thought they wouldnt be caught- really?? The only thing stopping these people from cheating is their inability to commit (not just to a relationship) to their hoe tendencies due to a lack of balls.

Let’s dissect this: in order for one person to cheat on another, there has to be some agreement of exclusivity. So when one person breaks that agreement, they are being deceptive and self-centered. Right or wrong? However, Neither is a quality that is frowned upon by the masses. Oh, we will talk about them, but these days cheaters are not seen as deviants to be shunned as they once were.

We must admire self-centeredness and respect deception. We must like liars and love whores. Or maybe we don’t and just refuse to say it because we all have been one or the other at some point in our lives. Well let’s talk about traitors, then. A traitor is someone who betrays trust. Above all else, infidelity is a betrayal. Regardless of how we dance around the ethics and morality behind infidelity, I think we all could agree that is a betrayal of the most intimate kind.

It is not easy to reject someone or to have to admit that sometimes we’re not sure how we feel or what we want and need emotionally and/or physically from someone; however, something inside us should push real hard to obtain the higher truth. And sometimes that truth is: I’m not sure I am ready to be with only you. Yea, that’s the crude way to say it but you get the gist. And if that person is so offended by the truth or can’t bear the idea of remaining open to the possibilities while you figure it out, well then you caught yourself a selfish, immature prick who probably isn’t ready for the commitment or at the least doesn’t want you as bad as they just want a body to fill the space. I’d bet you’re better than a space filler.

We gotta stand on the truth of how we feel and honor that truth. The person getting cheated on isn’t the only that one gets betrayed when Infidelity happens. The cheater betrays his/herself, too, by reneging on their word. In matters of the heart, our word is sometimes the only thing we got. If that means nothing, then we aren’t worthy of one of the most previous gifts one person can give another: trust. I can guarantee, if not then, at some point, there will be someone that we really want to trust us and we won’t have any idea how to get it nor will we deserve it.

I’m not Sayin; I’m just Sayin

An Angry Black Man


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